Ha you know I must be feeling tired - 2am does that - but I thought you wanted to have the words Coffee or Lunch .. *sigh* I was too busy looking at your questions...
It's late here so this is my last post before retiring for evening.. however, this is a quick answer to your quest for knowledge -
1 - Basically YES.. with DNN I suggest for starters - think in squares and rectangles.. until you get the flow in your mind of how modules work and the space they can sometimes take up.
2 - XML - Extensible Markup Language - I learnt it back in 1999 - If you can just think of it being a language that is a data carrier - it helps different applications talk together.. In my small skinning video - I explain how this works, and basically a html file is and unparsed or unwritten file. The DotNetNuke skinning engine takes data from the xml file - which carries usually design informaiton relating to which CSS classes some of the skinning elements in the html file contain. It then creates a page which has an ascx extension. That's sort of regarded as *control file* and it injects the skin and content into the default.aspx file in the root directory (this is a very crude explanation) But the XML is a must to know about if you want to create complex skins with alot of css formatting in the menus and skinobjects. So I prefer ASCX files.
3 - ASCX mode is the control method or the finished file format .. that doesn't require reuploading to the skinning engine - (via zip file) for DotNetNuke to inject information it reads from the XML file to create the formatting.
4 - Working on the server - in my books mean opening the file you're looking at while logged in or on the site.. you make changes, hit refresh and then hopefully changes are there.. No a skinning specialist is often specifically engaged to work between the developer and the designer. I dont' really call myself a designer.. I've seen amazing work by these fabulously talented people, and I've seen amazing developers write some brilliant work, and I work with them both to create their masterpieces online. That is the role of a specialist skinner. Lots of developers think they can skin, but I work with many of them in the fine tuning of things they don't know and really aren't expected to know.
5 - I have posted this in several places.. and based on my own experience, I still take an existin file and take it apart to create my skins - Why, you might ask.. the code to make it work is there.. so I am just making changes to it.. If you stat from nothing, and you are a beginner, how will you know where to go - by opening these files and making subtle changes to begin with you'll see similarities - it will help you pick it up.
6 - You can post the url on this site - Lots of people do, and it depends how much scrutiny you want to be under by others.. Not me though - I don't criticise people's efforts. We all start at a beginning point at some time!!
You are confusing container with menu -
http://www.codeproject.com/dotnet/dnntabskin.asp
This is a tutorial on how to make that menu -
A container in my opinion is the balance between doing something elegant, or totally making a mess of it with these boxes and borders that sit outside content on the site. I don't use them much - but lots of people do.
So that tutorial will give you step by step to make that menu..
I hope that gives you a start!
Nina Meiers