Thanks for all the replies.
First, thanks for pointing out the threads/page setting - I looked quickly unders settings and missed it.. still getting used to these forums. The default really should be higher. (imo)
And, I can certainly see the arguments for and against this moderation thing, but I don't really see it as a community if I'm moderated. The big red letters above SAY Community, but I don't feel it. I guess that after a number of posts by a user that goes away which definitely makes it more tolerable. But, as a DNN newb, I search, then I ask. I've waited more than an hour for my question to show up, then of course after an hour goes of another person waiting to be unmoderated, I can reply to that person and wait an hour to be unmoderated. I post on some other tech forums and they don't do this. Things get off topic, but if you have a question, it's answered within minutes.
You can say it's done because it works, but I'd argue it doesn't seem to be working. It's nearly impossible to get good free info on DNN. This forum is as close as I've found. I think this form of moderation would turn off most developers (which I have been for 15 years) and I probably would have tried a different CMS if I realized this place with this moderation was the best form of support I could get. I mean no offense to the mods whatsoever.. I've never been moderated, I just disagree with this form of moderation. A little spam or a little off topic banter and trolling isn't going to hurt anyone or destroy a forum as long as you have a "hey mods" button and mods to do clean up as needed.
I'll stop whining now.