You guys are welcome. I figured out the information mostly by being irritated with their customer service. I encountered this same problem with GoDaddy and I rapidly figured out that both GoDaddy's customer service and WebHost4Life's customer service just simply don't understand the difference between a web based email account and an smtp server used for mail relay.
I used to run my websites off of my own server till it became too much effort. I had my own smtp relay setup, it was an extremely easy 3 or 4 steps, my own IIS server and Database server. Through running my own sites I learned that setting up smtp relaying is extremely easy. What I encountered with customer service was that they just didn't get smtp relaying, didn't get how smtp was configured through ALL asp .net applications, not just DNN, and really didn't want to listen to what I was saying. I repeated myself in multiple different ways, quite clearly, and even broke it down to the most basic level in case I wasn't dealing with someone who understood basic web technology. They still didn't appear to listen to, or understand what I was saying. I figured out just enough information from customer service to figure out their smtp servers, and how they configured their nameservers. With a little bit of guessing I figured out the needed settings. I am glad this was useful to someone else. I really like WebHost4Life and I didn't want to let this one issue get in the way.
On a side note, I really don't know how to voice my opinion about hosting customer service in general and what I would definetly view as extremely basic knowledge about smtp servers and relaying email, but for the hosting community as a whole, people seriously, it isn't that difficult. Entry level technicians, seriously it isn't that difficult. My major point of frustration is though DNN provides an easy interface for setting up smtp, the way the software handles the settings is really the same way that ALL asp .net applications handle email sending. I have read multiple books, and built multiple applications that use the same basic setup as DNN. It is ridiculous for any host that provides windows hosting to blame the software because the only way the software could not be sending email correctly is if the host really doesn't handle sending email from ANY web based application. The setup for smtp relay for JSP, Ruby, ASP, ASP .NET and a bunch of other languages is the same, it is just the software that handles it differently. WebHost4Life provides a way to email the President, if I remember correctly, but it just seemed like too much work for something that was treated with complete indifference. I came to the conclusion that it probably wouldn't be changed anyway. I dealt with 4 representatives at GoDaddy, 5 at WebHost4Life, and if I had printed my first chat session with GoDaddy I could have typed the exact script that all of the other technicians at both companies would use. It was ridiculous as to how they followed not just the same troubleshooting steps, but almost verbatim, used the exact same responses. If you, the DNN community as a whole has suggestions as to how to handle, this I would love the suggestions and maybe we as a group could make it clear to hosters that "it is the software's fault" is just not an acceptable excuse for not understanding the basics of smtp relaying. What sealed the deal with me leaving GoDaddy was one tech told me that it was the software's fault and when I told him it wasn't and I could prove it, he told me that if I didn't like his response I could take my business elsewhere, so I did.
Sorry I am ranting a bit here, but smtp setup has been one of the most frustrating experiences I have had and yet it is one of the simplest things to configure. I would appreciate the suggestions as I get the impression from multiple articles that this isn't just a GoDaddy/WebHost4Life problem it seems to be hosting industry wide. I have seen ths complaint about just about every common DNN hoster out there. Maybe if we all get together we can make some sort of a positive change to remove this as one of the major headaches of establishing a website.