I'm fairly new to DNN, but I can help with some of your questions.

1. Is there any developer documentation out there for me to play catchup quick?
   
   You can download the documentation files and root thru them, they are helpful in some areas and useless (to me at least) in others.
   
2. I know i dont NEED to install the starter kit, but would it be recommended?
   
   I recommend it.  It will create a standard module for you, with all the essential plumbing.  You can customize from there.  You can actually customize the starter kit if you open up the .vsi file it comes in as a zip file, which makes it even nicer.
   
3. Does it have to be VB? (Mine is rusty).
   
   No.  I code my modules in C#.  The starter kit supports that also.
   
4. Do we have to use tables?  I prefer to use DIVs and CSS as that is the preferred web development method but i also realize it is best to conform to a standard within a development so are tables the adopted standard.
   Read up on the skinning features.  They use CSS extensively.
   
5. Does DNN use masterpages?  I understand DNN4 is just a port from DNN3 to ASP2 so probably not many if any new ASP2 features in there (I am asking so i dont have to spend a lot of time looking for them)
   
   I don't think so.  Not in a position to check at the moment.
   
   The DNN modules are just inserted into the page, which is actually constructed at runtime from a database.  That said, I suspect a master page might be a good way to improve the definition of the modules.
   
6. It seems that the standard page has a top, left, content, right and bottom panes.  I think this comes from the skin so i could add or subtract using a custom skin?  But where (or how) do I make those changes in the cboPanes drop down on the control in the editor? 
   
   Haven't learned that yet. :)