As with anything, the first time or 2 things do seem complex. I know the first time I was faced with a DNN upgrade I was fearful myself. But, after a time or two I realize its no big deal. Really.
One resource you should use is DNNCreative. Here is a
link from that site which deals with upgrades. Follow the steps outlined. It's not hard. Always keep a backup web.config. This is really important. Simply replace the connection strings areas (2) and copy over your sections for a different HTML provider if you do not use the default (I use the FCKEditor) and you are off and running.
As for the performance of inital page loads, there is tons of info out there on how to deal with this. Commerical modules are out there (search snowcovered for keepalive) that can help. I wrote my own client EXE that simple makes a web request every so often to keep the site up from my home PC. No biggie. I am planning to package this into an install program and make it a free download from my site soon.
DNN is great but takes time to learn. It cetainly helps if you know .NET and IIS. It isn't a fair expectation to think a complete novice can install it and maintain it. Download it and install it at home. Play with it. Decide if its for you. The onus is on you to learn it and be able to support it before you introduce it to a production environment. It isn't hard, but does require an initial investment from you.
When posting a question, make sure you have searched first. It may be that folks don't wish to respond to a question that has been asked many times and whose answer can be found by a simple search of the forums.